The Bon Vivant’s Guide to Shower Drinking

Of all the places one can (legally) drink in the universe, the shower is perhaps the most underrated. It’s echoey, you can sing all you’d like in there, you can drink whatever you want without anyone knowing, spilling is never an issue and you don’t even have to wear clothes. Plus, there are bubbles in there! Screw nudist foam parties and karaoke bars.

Suffice it to say, thebacklabel staff is very fond of the occasional scrub-a-dub-bubbly or post-bodywash beer. But we also believe that if you’re going to make your shower the ultimate party destination- you’d better do it right.

Without further ado, we present you with all that you need to make your shower ideal for drinking. Prepare to get pruney, ‘cause you’ll never want to leave.

1) The Suction Cup Audio Setup

When most people think ‘shower radio’ they think of a typewriter-sized hunk of grey plastic hanging on a lanyard that picks up a few FM and AM radio stations and isn’t really supposed to get wet. Listening to a patchy broadcast of ads and overplayed “Top 40” tunes is something you should never have to do again, because technology.

This bad boy is a compact, suction cupped, Bluetooth speaker that hooks right up to your preferred devices. It’s totally waterproof, has an LED display, volume controls and allows you to skip back and forth between songs- so you don’t have to dart in and out of the shower like a scared lemur to change the track. Plus, you can even take calls on it. Can you say shower conference call?

2) The Light Show

No true party is complete without some sort of a light show. It could be lasers, smoke machines and strobes at da club, or it could be your drunk colleague rapidly flicking the light switch in his underwear at 2AM. It all counts.

Since holding a light switch while showering or setting up electric equipment next to the tub is incredibly stupid, we’ve got to recommend the showerhead that will forever change shower drinking.

It’s filled with versatile, fading and changing LED lights that are powered by the water moving through the showerhead. Some models switch color based on the temperature of the water, others fade in and out and some flash- depending on your mood. If you understand fun, you’ll understand why this is a necessary item.

3) The Shakoolie

The Shakoolie is the“original shower beer koozie.” It keeps your beer cold, out of reach of the water and ready for each refreshing sip, no matter how steamy things get. In other words, it’s really damn useful. At the University of Shower Drinking, the Shakoolie is required reading.

4) The Classy Glass Holder

This elegant and well-designed suction cup wine glass holder is the ultimate complement to your Shakoolie. Why make the shower a beer only space? Variety is the spice of life, and a rich red only serves to make any situation that much steamier.

5) The Non-Slip Massage Mat

Why do you need a bath mat? First of all, you’re consuming alcohol in an incredibly slippery and steamy place. Safe sips are the best kind of sips, people.

Secondly, this mat has multiple different massage zones that make your feet feel great just for standing on it. Those who don’t like being pampered need not apply.

6) The “I am a God” Towel

When it does come time to dry off and say sayonara to the shower from heaven- no ordinary towel will do. You need a towel that speaks to you in all of your glory- a towel that recognizes you as the sleek, sexy predator (with sensitive skin) that you are. (It’s soft as hell, and after the first five minutes you’ll stop feeling ridiculous and start owning it… trust us.)